Hanging on.

When I called the nurse line yesterday for my beta results, I was hopeful. I was shaking, but I was hopeful. Of course, I had to leave a message and wait for a call back, but it only took them 15 minutes to tell me what I really…didn’t want to hear.

34.

3  – freaking -4.

Not the pretty triple-digit number I was hoping for.  Not even close.

My reply: Wow. Well that’s not good.

Sue, my favorite nurse: Well, it’s low. But you could have your dates wrong, and remember that it’s still early.

Gee. Thanks. Super.

I cried. I’m not going to lie. But then I talked to my mom, and I did some Googling, and I decided to just take a deep breath and try, try, TRY to relax. (Believe me, this is WAY easier said than done.)

The “average” hcg level at 14DPO (which is when my first blood draw was) is 48. The “typical” range is 17 – 119. 34 fits nicely into that range.

I haven’t had any more spotting, no more bleeding, and last night I was so nauseous I really just wanted to cry.  And I was so, so happy about it.

I go in today for another blood draw. I don’t know if I’ll be able to wait until 9 am tomorrow morning, so I’m going to request (read: beg) that I get my results this afternoon. Based on my history, and on the stress this is causing me, I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

I’m still praying. I’m not giving up on this little one.

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