At the recommendation of one of the women on BBC, I started reading a book called A Few Good Eggs: Two Chicks Dish on Overcoming the Insanity of Infertility.
Just a few pages in, I read this.
We have come to think of infertility as a game—The Infertility Game. It is a game in which, believe it or not, everyone is a winner. We know you don’t feel like a winner right now (who would?), but the truth is if you want a baby in your family, you will have one. Go ahead, read that line again. If you want a baby, you will have one. Now you may not actually have a baby the biological way—or maybe you will, thanks to drugs, in vitro fertilization, intrauterine insemination, or some other technical assistance. Maybe you will use a surrogate,donor eggs, or donor sperm or maybe you will adopt or foster parent. The bottom line is — if you want a family, you can have a family.
This really got me thinking. I never in a million years imagined myself having a baby via IUI, IVF, or anything of the sort. I already know with 100% certainty that I will never use a surrogate or donor eggs. But what if the problem I’m having is easily fixable and I, by being scared and hurt and angry and jaded and etc etc etc, will never find out because I’m afraid? It can’t hurt to just SEE, right? (Scratch that. It CAN hurt, I know. If it’s something bad, if it’s something that can’t be fixed, it will hurt like hell.) But anyway, after reading further into this book, I decided today that I was going to call my doctor to set up an appointment. Just to talk. Just to feel it out.
Before I did that, I thought it would be a good idea to check with my insurance to see what types of infertility treatments are covered. I figured then I’d have all my ducks in a row when I went in to talk with my doctor. Imagine my surprise when I found out that nothing — NOTHING AT ALL — is covered. Nothing related to infertility. Not treatments, not tests, not prescriptions. Nothing.
I felt like throwing up. How can they do that? How can they NOT consider infertility a medical condition? It doesn’t make sense to me.
After talking with some other women who are seeing an RE, I’m told that doctors know how insurance companies are about covering infertility and there are ways around the whole “no coverage” thing. Sneaky doctors. Love them for it.
Long story short, I called today to make an appointment with my OB. I had to schedule my yearly anyway, so I figured I could do that and then chat with her while I’m there. Turns out she has a cancellation on Wednesday, so I’m going in at 3:30. I have my period right now, heh, oops, but I’m going to keep the appointment anyway, then play dumb on Wednesday if I still have it and act like I didn’t know it was coming. Ha! I don’t want to wait until January or February.
In other news, I’ve had two friends miscarry in the last week. What the fuck. Life is not fair.