Surprise! 5 weeks today!

Today, I am 5 weeks pregnant. This is further than I made it with the past 3 pregnancies (except the first one, but I knew at 4w4d that my levels were dropping. The bleeding didn’t start until 5w2d.) I had cramps all night, but I think they might have been digestive. I thought they were gone, but as I’m sitting here typing this, they’re back. Of course I took another test this morning, just to assure myself that I wasn’t crazy, that I am in fact pregnant, and of course the test line is fading. Of course it is.  At 5 weeks pregnant, that line should be pretty dark, but not mine. Nope. (Not that yesterday’s test was very dark either, but it’s not a good sign.)

You don’t need to tell me, “Tests are all different! Stop testing!” I know that tests are all different, but in my experience, fading lines have not been a good sign. I won’t be testing again, as I don’t have any tests in the house and don’t plan on leaving the house to buy any, so now I just have to wait until my beta on Monday and pray that these cramps aren’t the sign of something bad.

It’s really hard to think positive. I want with all my heart to be overjoyed about this, to be thrilled at the thought of a growing belly and another baby. But I’m too scared to even go there right now.

As for the shot? Not a big deal at all. It really didn’t even hurt, which surprised me. I do have a bruise already, but if it saves this baby, then I’ll take it.

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