CD4: Reflection.

I read a lot of blogs. This whole infertility thing has really opened my eyes to a world of incredible, amazing women who have struggled much more than I have. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve found people I relate to (and for that, I am so grateful. Don’t know what I would do without all of you!)

Sometimes, I come across a blog that really grabs me. That was the case when I found Bottoms Off and On The Table.  I’m certain that I’m not the only one here that frequents her blog, and I know I can’t be the only one who shed tears when her last attempt at IVF didn’t work out.

While I haven’t had to deal with nearly the things she has had to deal with, there have been many times when I’ve read one of her postings and found myself nodding my head in understanding. We may not be in the same situation, but the pain is the same. The confusion, the anger, the frustration. It’s all there — it is for all of us. None of us are alone in this battle.

And as I read one of her recent postings, one made after she found that the last IVF did not work (even after it looked quite promising in the beginning), I thought to myself just how lucky I really am.

Because I have my beautiful Madeline Rose. I hope that doesn’t make me sound selfish, like “ha ha look what I have”, because it really truly isn’t intended to come out that way. I just really feel blessed, knowing what I know now, that I have her. And that’s she’s perfect.

Even if I am not able to get and stay pregnant, I will still be a mother. And it breaks my heart that so many of the women out there, the ones who want so much to be a mother, won’t be able to (at least on their own). It’s just not fair.

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