Only 6 more days until I have to start the Lovenox injections. Six days! That’s not a lot! Honestly, though, it really felt like the time would never come, and now that it’s almost here, I’m getting really nervous. I know it’s not that bad, I know I can do it without having much of a problem. But what if I don’t get pregnant? It’s a very real possibility. Then I quit the shots and just wait to start them again. What a viscious, crappy cycle.
I also realized, in reading a friend’s blog, that this cycle is my last chance to have a 2010 baby. That just blows my mind. I started this journey in late May of last year. Has it really been almost a year? Am I really not pregnant yet? It feels like a bad dream.
I’ve had so many friends/family/acquaintences get pregnant this past year, it’s not even funny. I’ve been outwardly happy for them, inwardly devastated.*** Happy for them, sad for me. None of them have had any problems, everything has been great. They post their ultrasound pictures on Facebook, they annouce the genders of their little ones, the post pictures of their newborns. I want that to be me. I want it so badly, and I’m just so scared that I won’t be able to have it.
Come on, shots. Do your job.
***This does NOT apply to any of you!! Whenever any of you get pregnant, I am so, so happy. It gives me hope! It makes me smile! So keep getting pregnant so I can follow along! 🙂