CD9: Pick your battles.

Since we started trying to get pregnant almost a year ago (wow. Really? Wow), we have officially “tried” four times. The first month after going off the pill (ended in a loss) , again the second month after the pill (ended in a loss), in October (ended in a loss), and in January (ended in a loss).

Do you see that? We have tried to get pregnant four times. We got pregnant four times. And yet, I’m not pregnant. How sad is that?

I know I’m lucky, in that for many women, GETTING pregnant is the big battle. My battle is staying pregnant. I don’t know which is worse/harder to deal with, but I can honestly say that I think I’d rather not be able to get pregnant at all than to have had to deal with these four losses. Or maybe not. Maybe I can’t really say for sure, since getting that positive test has never been my problem.

Can I get lucky enough to have the “getting pregnant every try” trend continue this cycle? Or have I run out of free passes? Is it too late?

Here comes another battle. Uphill both ways.

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3 thoughts on “CD9: Pick your battles.

  1. I don’t think one is harder than the other. I know that for me personally every month that comes with a negative test gets harder and seemingly more hopeless. I feel like they’re so many more questions in trying to figure out why you can’t get pregnant and not as many potential diagnosis with miscarriages.

    But in the same token I know what it’s like to be so hopeful after a positive only to have your plans crushed after a loss.

    They both suck and I can’t wait until neither of us have to deal with them! Fingers crossed for you (as always!)

    • Yeah, you’re right. There are so many more variables with the “can’t get pregnant” diagnosis.

      Either way, it sucks, doesn’t it?

      Fingers crossed for you, too (as always!)

  2. both suck – i hate my situation but i can’t imagine having a bfp and then having it taken away. the 5th time is sounding like a charm though, esp bc you’re starting the lovenox earlier. so, get this baby started!

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