On Friday, I got off of work at 11 and we headed up to the cabin for the long weekend. I don’t know if it had just been a long day, or if I wasn’t sleeping well in the camper, or what, but I had the most horrible dreams! Saturday night, I dreamed that I couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat with the doppler. (I think maybe I dreamed this because I didn’t feel any movement at ALL on Saturday and I was making myself paranoid). In the dream, I rushed to the doctor, where they told me that they baby’s heart rate had dropped to 112 and it wasn’t looking good. I woke up in a cold sweat and couldn’t fall back to sleep.
Last night, I dreamed that I had some horrible disease, what it was, I don’t know, but I know they wanted to perform some strange procedure on me that could hurt the baby in some awful way. I was determined to NOT have the procedure done, but my mom wouldn’t let me leave her house. I was bawling, begging her to let me go, but she said no, this was for my own good. I kept telling her I wanted to just have my baby, no matter what. I finally escaped by running down this long tunnel into a river. WTF?! I woke up crying.
I need it to be July 21st so I can have my big ultrasound and KNOW that everything is ok with the baby. Time has started to really drag, and I’m counting down the days now.
I start my new job tomorrow, though! So hopefully that will make time go by quickly. And no, I have not brought up the pregnancy. I asked my HR cousin what she thought I should do, and she recommended that I NOT have a deliberate conversation about it. She said to go along as if they already know (because it’s entirely possible that they do. It’s pretty obvious at this point.) I ended up emailing my new supervisor to let him know about my upcoming appointments, and he was fine with it, so I’m just going to go with it and see where it takes me. Wish me luck!
Oh, I almost forgot: 18 week belly!